Crazy Book of Sick Jokes with Glen Singleton

Well I must say that this Crazy Book of Sick Jokes really lives up to its name. A few had me wincing at their political incorrectness...but I know the students will find them funny. Some are even disturbing, especially the "Mummy, Mummy" jokes. It has all the classic "Doctor Doctor" jokes, some witty waiter ones as well as many riddles. There is a smattering of vampire jokes and cannibal jokes as well. Below are a few of the inclusions in the book.

Mummy, Mummy, can I play with Rover"
We've already dug him up three times this week.

Mummy, Mummy, Dad's going out.
Shut up and throw more petrol on him.

Why did piglet look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.

What did the cannibal say when he was full?
"I couldn't eat another mortal."

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Well, get up on this couch and I'll examine you.
I can't I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Happy reading.

The Pied Piper: Keith Smith's Riddle Book for Kids by Keith Smith

 This lovely little riddle book was published in 1960 and is a real little Australian gem. It contains some really great riddles which I will use in our classroom "riddleoffs" which I hold from time to time. The author, Keith Smith, sadly passed away last year in June.  It so happens that years and years before any of my class were born, or me either actually, that Keith Smith thought it would be a good idea to have a radio program, called "A Word From Children."  In it boys and girls had their say about all manner of things. Then five years later Keith started another program called "The Pied Piper."  Since that time children sent him thousands of riddles and asked him riddles during his Pied Piper program. the program was produced in front of live audiences in theatres and town halls all over Australia This book is the result of all that.

 

Stick Out Your Tongue by Peter & Connie Roop

This joke book which contains riddles and some knock knocks is all to do with doctors, dentists and patients. There is a lot of play on words which will more likely elicit a smile than a belly laugh. If you like jokes you will most likely enjoy this little book which could be easily read in half an hour. The illustrations by Joan Hanson, one per two pages are gorgeous ink line works. Here are a few of them:

When is it polite to stick out your tongue?

At a doctor's office.

What should you do if your knee is cold?

Wear a knee cap.

Why did the window go to the doctor?

It had a pane.

Why did the king go to the dentist?

He needed a new crown.

Dinosaur Jokes by Jacqueline Horsefall

A joke book exclusively about dinosaurs so if you are into dinosaurs this might be worth a look at. The illustrations are in cartoon form and very bright, colourful as well as comical. It contains riddles, and for some strange reason one lonely little knock-knock. Some of the riddles are a bit on the lame side, whilst others may elicit a laugh. Try a few of these ones about the Tyrannosaurus Rex:

Why does Tyrannosaurus eat raw meat?

It never learned how to cook.

How do you ask a Tyrannosaurus to lunch?

"Tea, Rex?"

What does Tyrannosaurus eat after it visits the dentist?

The dentist.

Which Dinosaur wears a ten-gallon hat?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

Roll Over Pavlova compiled by June Factor

Australian rhymes and chants, riddles, and wordplay are just a few of the things covered in this book compiled by June Factor. It contains common expressions you may well hear Australian children singing, chanting or just talking about. There is even a section for adults. Here is one I can remember chanting as a child although we used to sing pencil-case instead of pillow-case:

Fatty and Skinny had a race

Up and down the pillow-case,

Fatty said it wasn't fair

Because he lost his underwear.

and then there is this one:

Naughty child

Angry Mum

Wooden spoon

Sore bum.

Now for some insults, taunts and threats:

Ice-cream and jelly

And a punch in the belly.

Don't look so sad, don't look so blue,

"Cause Frankenstein was ugly too.

Liar, liar, pants on fire,

Nose as long as a telephone wire.

Selby's Joke Book by Duncan Ball

Another Duncan Ball production, a joke book. This book is filled with riddles, puns, knock knocks, jokes, stand up routines and much more. Here are a few sample riddles:

How do you make varnish invisible?

Take out the letter R.

What doesn't exist but still has a name?

Nothing.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner.

What kind of nail does a carpenter hate to hit?

A fingernail.

Happy reading...

A Jar of Jokes by Pancake Press

If you were locked in a room with only a piano, how would you get out?

Play the piano until you find the right key.

So, here is yet another book of riddles and jokes for the shelves, and the book is small enough to fit into your pocket. Why not test out a few on Lucinda?

Try this one:

What do you give others and still keep yourself?

A cold.

Or this one:

What did the road say to the bridge?

You make me cross.

The Bitser Book compiled by Roger Mansfield

The Bitser book is just what the titles suggests, a bit of this and a bit of that. It is much more than a joke book. Yes, it contains jokes and riddles but it also contains tricks, games, tongue twisters, puzzles, optical illusions, quizzes, facts, and some real mind benders. If you like problem solving and thinking through puzzles or just learning some interesting new facts, then you will probably enjoy this book. The text is supported with cartoon pictures. It is an Australian publication.

He's a real drongo.

A drongo is someone who is stupid or clumsy or both. Drongo was the name of an Australian racehorse in the early 1920's who failed to win even one of the 37 races in which he took part.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a calendar?

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?

Read this little gem to find out.

The Bad Book by Andy Griffith & Terry Denton

Just ask James in my class if this book is worth reading and he will give you a resounding YES. I must agree they are pretty funny and definitely a little off beat, and sometimes, somewhat foul. Take this little one about grannies; totally politically correct, of course...NOT:

The Bad Granny

Once upon a time there was a bad granny.

She was bad

and evil

and mean

In fact she was so bad and evil and mean that they put her in a truck with all the other bad grannies and took her to the Granny Smith Apple Factory.

The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Poo is quite a take on the traditional old lady who simply swallowed a spider!

Terry Denton's ink drawings add greatly to the humour of the poems and riddles. So if you are feeling a bit sad or slightly depressed this book will bring you some cheer.

What a Joke: The Puffin Book of Kids' Jokes by Phillip Adams and Patrice Newell

This really is a book of kids' jokes. Hundreds of children across Australia contributed to this collection. Teachers asked children to write down their favourite jokes and the best were compiled into this book. The jokes, riddles, knock knocks and cartoons are organised into the following chapters:

Animal Antics

School Daze

Farmyard Funnies

Ghoulish Gags

Ridiculous Riddles

Heffalumps

Knock Knock

Jungle Madness

Sick, Sick, Sick

Grub's Up

Crazy Families

Bush Giggles

Totally Dumb Jokes

A couple of my favourites are:

"I just ran into a great big bear!"

"Did you let him have both barrels?"

"Heavens no, I let him have the whole gun."

What do you get if you sit under a cow?

A pat on the head.

This is probably one of the funniest joke books on our shelves in The Little Library of Rescued Books and it is well worth picking up. Terry Denton fans will be pleased to know he did the illustrations for this book and they are up to their usual quirky standard.

101 Pet Jokes by Phil and Hope Hirsch

Here is another joke book for the shelves. I wouldn't say they were "purrfectly hilarious" but some of the riddles are quite clever. They are mainly about cats and dogs.

What do you call it when our feline friends show good manners?

Eti-cat, or course!

There are also pet proverbs such as:

No mews is good mews.

Mice guys finish last.

And there are Pet Puns:

What kind of dog does Count Dracula prefer?

Any bloodhound

What dog stands the best chance of winning the heavy weight title?

A boxer, of course!

The detailed ink illustrations are appealing and it's a light-hearted read.

1001 More Cool Jokes by Glen Singleton

Like jokes, riddles and knock knocks. This is jammed packed with these. There are jokes about girls, jokes about boys, Doctor Doctor jokes, Computer jokes and a Wicked section. Want some light-hearted reading or to test your friend's abilty to answer riddles, well then why not try out this big book for size. Lucinda would be very hard to beat. This is another popular book which was hardly ever on the shelves.

My Little Riddle-O-Pedia of Sport by Cheryl Threadgood

A tiny litle book filled with riddles about many different sports from Athletics to Yachting. Some are a little cliche others are quite witty.

Why did the student take his bike to school?
Because he wanted to drive his teacher up the wall.

Why can't a car play football?
Because it's only got one boot.